


Ain't Too Proud to Beg

by Genie60



Series: Poldark Series 3-This and That [7]
Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: Beach Scene, F/M, Marriage, Missing Scene, Poldark AU, Pregnancy, Reconciliation, S3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 21:14:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10999113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: So apparently the mysterious beach scene that we were teased with is making an appearance in S3. Here is my take on what it might be all about....A little combo of pieces from what's been leaked and book plot....





	Ain't Too Proud to Beg

**Author's Note:**

> Written at work, quickly spellchecked so any mistakes are because I shouldn't be doing this now. But I couldn't resist.

His feet felt like lead as he ran across the beach, rushing to catch up to his wife. She had left the house after he stupidly mentioned coming upon Elizabeth while he was riding and helping her when her horse seemed to be running wild.  He was sure Demelza didn’t intend to be cruel about it but then again, he remembered that the wounds from a few months ago were still healing and even the slightest rub seemed to reopen them.

“What should I have done, Demelza?  Let her horse go?  She could have been hurt or killed.” he argued.

His wife looked at him and for the first time he saw something he’d never expected coming from her: indifference.  To Ross it seemed Demelza truly didn’t care what happened to the mistress of Trenwith.  It surprised him after all she’d done in the past to aid and assist that side of the Poldark clan; however that was before he committed the ultimate betrayal. 

“No Ross of course not.  Lord knows you couldn’t pass up a chance to be needed again by her,” she said bitterly. “Perhaps I should learn to be less capable and needier. Then maybe you’ll expend that same energy on me.” 

Demelza said nothing else.  She turned and walked out of the house with a determined step. Again he had driven her away from him by thoughtless words.  One of these days he’d learn to think before he spoke or at least choose his words and timing more carefully.  Unlike the last time she left upset by his comments, Ross didn’t sit idly by and wait for this to blow over.  After checking on Jeremy, he immediately followed her out of the house.  He didn’t see what direction she went in but had a good idea as there was one place that seemed to be her sanctuary and the place where they could just forget others and be themselves.

He hurried down the path and in a flashback to that night after the Bodrugan party; he saw her walking by the shore.  No glamorous red dress or streaked face this time. Just his Demelza, walking away from him.  Again.  Hastily Ross climbed down the rocky path to try and meet up with her but she was yards ahead of him.  He called to her.

“Demelza!”

She kept walking so he took off running.  He caught up with her, but dropped to his knees trying to catch his breath.  Demelza turned and looked at him, his hands limp by his side his face searching hers for some sort of sign as to what was wrong.

“Didn’t you hear me calling you?” he asked.  His chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

“Yes,” she said flatly and she started to walk away again, seemingly uninterested in him or his explanation.

Ross shook his head and tried to comprehend just why she was acting this way. Surely she didn’t think there was still some bond between him and Elizabeth. He stood, quickly taking the few steps to catch up to her and turned her to face him. When he did the expression he met told him that was exactly the issue.  After months of tears, talking and resuming their relationship, Ross saw that his wife still doubted him.  What could he do to make her see that no one at Trenwith was a threat to them, their family and especially, their marriage?

He let go of her arm and was grateful she didn’t turn and keep walking.  Seeing he had her attention if only briefly, he was going to try and say what he wanted to earlier; what he should have made clear continuously since the night he convinced her to stay.

“Demelza” he said softly. “Please let me explain.”

****~~~~****

She pulled the shawl tighter around her body, her face expressionless as she waited to hear what he had to say. For her part, Demelza was just annoyed that once again, Ross impulsively risked his life for someone else’s.  It wasn’t necessarily the fact that it was Elizabeth—although she wasn’t pleased that the shadow of her and all that was linked to her still followed them. It was the fact that he could have been hurt or killed.  And that was what she was angry about.  As much as it pained her, Demelza was a realist and knew that for as long as Elizabeth, Ross and she were alive, their lived would be entangled in this complicated web.  She’s accepted that.  But what she had stopped accepting was Ross, ignoring the fact that he had a family and child. Soon to be children. He didn’t know that yet and she was about to tell him this when he recounted his story of heroism.  That was why she walked out leaving him to think over what he’d done. Again.  It was one more instance of Ross and his actions first, Demelza second. She was tired of it.  And her condition didn’t help her mood or feeling.  She looked at his face and saw that it held some remorse, even confusion.  Was he actually contemplating what he’d done, seeing that maybe it wasn’t the brightest thing to do?

“Fine, Ross. Explain,” she said. 

There was a chill in the air that was not just from the ocean breeze.  Ross felt it as well despite being dressed warmer than his wife. 

“Demelza, what I said that night is still true. Elizabeth will never come between us again. But I couldn’t just ride by seeing she was in trouble.  In fact, I didn’t know it was her until I got close enough to see the rider. It could have been anyone,” he stated.

She didn’t think of that.  Only that it was once again, Ross seeing to Elizabeth’s needs.  She conceded that fact but it still didn’t excuse his taking a risk.

“I see.  But that doesn’t mean you must drop everything to risk your own life.  You have to start thinking of others Ross, “she said. Taking a breath she added. “You have to start thinking about me.”

Ross looked at his wife, surprised she would think any different.  How could she not know that she was uppermost in his mind? Is he that lax in being attentive?  He thought back over the past months and couldn’t identify any particular instance where he put her needs and concerns after others.  Until this morning. So why was she so adamant in her anger? He surmised there was something else bothering her for her to react this way but he couldn’t tell what.

Ross moved towards her, taking her hands in his and spoke.  He kept his gaze on her, not letting her look away.

“Demelza, haven’t I made it clear since that night you almost left that no one and nothing matters more than you?”

“To some extent yes.  I won’t deny that we have come far since that night, Ross.  And we have tried to repair the damage done by that incident. But sometimes I think….”

Ross looked at her, waiting for the rest of what she had to say.

“What do you think?”

Lifting her chin she said simply, “I think that because we are once again sharing a bed that you think that is all that’s needed to rebuild our marriage.  It’s not just the physical connection that makes a marriage Ross. Although ours is strong and I would not change that for anything.  I have no complaints about the lack of sleep.”

He smiled at her crookedly and squeezed her hands.

“I’m glad about that for I feel the same,” Ross said.

“I know Ross.  It’s the one thing about you I can easily see.”

“Then what else could upset you so?”

She took a moment before speaking, her emotions in overdrive. 

“Sometimes I need to know that you're glad I stayed, not just because we are so physically compatible but because of who I am.  I know I’m strong and resilient and a hard worker but do you know that? Do you care? Does it matter to you if I’m cold or scared or worried that you could go down a mine and not return? That you risk your life for someone when I’m home, trying to put our lives and family back together?  Or does playing the hero mean more to you?  And yes before you say it, it bothers me more because it was Elizabeth you helped.  Sometimes I need help too, Ross.  I just don’t always like to show you because I feel it’s just another burden for you.  Others apparently don’t see it that way.”

She finished and looking down at their linked hands, took a deep breath to push away the tears that gathered.

“Demelza, my love, why have you waited until now to say all this?  You know I can be dense more times than not and that I do see you as a strong, independent, single minded woman.  I know you’re not weak or needy and I love you all the more for it.  I also know that you are still vulnerable and doubt my feelings for you sometimes, but put your mind to rest.  There is no one in my heart or mind but you.”

“And Elizabeth? Where is she in your heart and mind, Ross?” 

She waited nervously for the answer, fearful of what that might be.

“A memory of things past and unfortunately an enemy of the present. I would not and will not seek out anything having to do with her or any other occupant of Trenwith. You have my word on that. But I couldn’t ignore her plight this morning especially knowing she was with child.”

He said that so plainly that at first he didn’t realize it had come out of his mouth until he saw Demelza’s demeanor change.

“Yes she is. But what about our child?” she blurted out.

“Jeremy?  He’s fine Demelza. Safe and sound.”

Demelza kept her focus on him letting him get comfortable with that thought before she shared her news.

“Yes he is,” she said, as she pulled her hand out of his grip to lightly caress her belly.  Ross didn’t catch the movement at first until he saw she wasn’t moving.  His gaze dropped to her waist and traveled up again.

“Demelza?”

“Yes Ross?”

“What?  How?” he sputtered.

“Well, as we’ve just discussed it’s been nothing else since that night so that should answer the how. As for what, I haven’t a clue.  We will just have to wait until the fall,” she said. The slightest hint of a smile coming to her face as she saw his realization face appear.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asked. His face a mix of confusion and happiness. 

“I only just determined it to be a fact Ross. I don’t know how much sooner I could have said anything,” she replied.

He took her hands again, gripping them tightly as he pulled her towards him.

“I don’t know what to say.  Or how to make amends for my folly of this morning,” he said quietly.

Demelza saw that he was genuine in his remorse and feeling relieved that he was glad about expanding their family, eased his mind.

“Just be here for me and our family.  The folks at Trenwith can care for themselves now.  They don’t need you anymore.  I do and always will.  And I need to know that you feel the same thing.”

Oh my love. Without question. With you besides me, whatever life hands us….”

“We can face it.”

Ross bent down to give her a kiss before linking her arm with his and starting the walk home.

“So, have you a preference, Ross?  Boy or girl?” she asked.

“No. But if it is a girl, I pray she’s not like you.  One of you is more than enough.”

 

 


End file.
